Why my husband is quite possibly the most embarrassing person on earth


This isn’t a new story but unfortunately I fear it will live in my head forever so I’m thinkin maybe if I get it all typed out it will vacate my brain! First off, I should start by saying i don’t think my husband “tries” to embarrass the ever-living hell out of me, for some reason it just comes naturally to him. I know some of you can relate!
So here’s the background story- we were going to his best friends house because it was his daughter’s birthday. I know his friend, his friend’s wife, and a few other people who were there but the majority of them were total strangers. And to be clear, I really don’t know his friend’s wife all that well.
Ok now to the meat of the story- we were on our way there and I had some of those big little tikes toys in the back of the hubs truck to take to the kids but they needed washed off. We stopped at a car wash to clean them and the hubby got out and did all the work but he left me in the truck sweating my ass off! ( He refuses to run the ac if the vehicle is stopped ) so there I am sitting in the 100 degree cab sweating my little ass off and it is taking him ages! I looked down and saw my boobs were even starting to sweat and I was really starting to get concerned that I’d have boob sweat all over my shirt when we made our entrance at the party ( not attractive)… And mind you at this point we were already late so all attention would most definitely be on us when we arrived. So I’m desperately searching through the truck console to find some tissues or napkin or something to wipe off with and finally!! AHHHHHH! The angels all sang in unison and I found some freaking napkins!! I quickly shoved them in both bras cups and yelled to the hubby to hurry the hell up because I was roasting like a damned thanksgiving turkey!
Fast forward we arrive at the party and say our hellos. We eat some food and chit-chat with everyone. As we are talking to my husband’s friend’s wife my husband keeps giving me this weird ass look. I roll my eyes at him and continue to talk to her and all of a sudden this freaking genius reaches over and pulls the napkin out that I forgot was in my bra!!! Right in front of this girl I barely know! And did I say ” Oh my god! How embarrassing, it’s completely his fault!!”? No. I stood there so unbelievably mortified that this chick surely thinks I stuff my bra because my brilliant husband saw a little piece of napkin peeking out and thought he’d “save me some embarrassment ” by pulling it out in the middle of the party!!

Yea. That really happened…over the summer. It has taken me this long to see the humor. I bet they still think I stuff my bra. :p


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