She loves him. She loves him so deeply, utterly, and completely that without the shadow of a thought, she gladly gave up anything and everything she could in her life to make sure he’s ok. She swore to herself that she’d make sure she never let anyone hurt him. She takes all of the pain and the hurt that stabs and tears at her insides and she turns it into her fuel for fire. She cares so much that it hurts, alienates, and infuriates. She cries at night because she doubts herself and she still doesn’t know how she’s doing it all, but the one thing she does know is that she’ll always do everything she can possibly do. She’s misunderstood and she doesn’t have time to sort it out. She’s broken but she tries to hold it together. She’s built up walls the size of skyscrapers because she’s scared, but she’s also determined and persistent. She loves him with every fiber in her soul, far more than anything can measure, so she wakes up everyday and tries her best because he deserves nothing less, and so much more.
I’m not an Autism mom but I am a mom to a child with “special needs” and a disability. Your post steals the words out of my mouth and the feelings out of my mind on parenting my son as well. Thanks so much for what you do, it means a lot to know I’m not alone in what I live. <3
Thank you, Ava! <3
Beautiful! I can relate.