Going against the flow


People, in general, have never understood the way that I think and/or operate in life, love, parenting, my writing, and a variety of other areas people tend to pick apart in late night phonecalls and over lunch convos with their besties. Growing up an eclectic, free spirited, wide eyed girl in a small sleepy town, I always felt the need to explain myself and my thought process to the people that didn’t understand me. At some point though, I realized that there is a particular type of person that will just never get it, or me, and I am slowly learning that I have to be okay with that. Truth is, I will probably never get them either.

There are two types of individuals in my mind; the ones who go with the flow and the ones who don’t.

Basically, I’m the type who relishes and thrives on the things in this short life that make me smile and spending all of my spare time emersing myself in the things that I love to do. Although I find it completely necessary for myself and my well-being, this has proven to be a hard concept for some people to comprehend.

I often pay a price for the way I live, sometimes it’s a steep one, but can you really put a price on pure and true fulfillment and happiness? I think not. I’ve make a lot of sacrifices over the years to do these things I love to do and to feel these feelings I love to feel, but to me, it’s all well worth it to fill up my soul’s tank and feel at peace within myself, regardless of what that looks like to anyone on the outside.

A lot of peeps don’t get why I can’t just ‘go with the flow’. Well, the truth is, I hate the damned flow. Always have, always will. I wanna see what’s going on the other way, the way that everyone else isn’t going, the way that has a big invisible sign that says ‘Proceed with caution!’. I feel like something fabulously fantastic is hiding there and I want to be the one to find it.

In my humble opinion, the biggest downside to going against the grain, (and you knew damn well there was a downside), is that is you’re gonna go it alone more often than not. You just have to learn to be okay with that if you’re planning on swimming upstream. Everything that is truly great in life comes with a cost.

With age, I’m learning it’s all a delicate balancing act, and I’ve also learned my balance totally sucks at times. Hell, who am I kidding? I have no damned balance whatsoever, but maybe that’s okay after all. Maybe we aren’t all good at balancing. Maybe tripping through life isn’t all bad. Maybe we need some clumsey chaos and mayhem to juxtapose all of the perfectly perfect perfection and balance.


Much love, Rockin Mom

Tomorrow I will officially be a Non-Smoker!


Getting my fill of my cigarettes today because tomorrow I am quitting FOR GOOD! The Hubs too!! (Thank you Moosh♥) I am embarrassed to even say we are smokers for the obvious reasons but also because three years ago I was in the hospital for 9 days over Christmas with a collapsed lung and a tube shoved in my side allowing me to breathe, attached to a machine, and stuck to a hospital bed away from my boy. It was scary and horrible and I never want to have to go through it again. I quit after that whole episode but unfortunately picked the habit back up when I was over-stressed..bum lung and all:( SO, tomorrow I will stick my nicotine patch on, I am gonna buy some cartridge thingies for my e-cig and that will be that! I debated on whether or not I should share this but I really want to quit so I’m letting you all know! Tomorrow this girl is a non-smoker!

A 21 mg dose Nicoderm CQ patch applied to the ...

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)


It makes you an a-hole.

Ok I am in rant mode and since it usually falls on deaf ears around this casa I will share my bitchy bitching with you all! Yay!
I find it to be soooo unbelievably annoying that I am almost 30 years old and girls/women are STILL thinking that they are in a competition with me and every other woman/girl in the world. Things that make ya go “hmmmm”! Do people think we’re all being taped or something? Is this like the Truman show, where’s the camera? Does my hair look ok? Did I win first prize?! ;)
So ya work? Big deal. Ya stay at home with the kids? Big deal. Honestly, I don’t care what you do with your time and you shouldn’t care what I do with mine. Do what works for you and keep your focus on your own lane. Simple principle but for some this has proven to be very difficult! So ya breast fed? Good for you. Ya didn’t? Good for you. You’re curvy? Good for you. Skinny? Good for you. Tan? Pale? Big boobs? Small boobs? Tattoos, no tattoos. Fake, real. Blonde, brunette. Tall, short. Married, single. These are all things that petty women use to make themselves feel superior to other women, and I, for one, am tired of it and am calling it out!
We are all on totally different paths in life so to compare them is a huge, unhealthy waste of time. If only people used all that time they spend hating to do something good, or to better themselves..yea wishful thinking right?
I’ve always been a firm believer in the idea that you get what you give so ladies let’s quit giving off this “I’m better than you”  bs. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it a million more times, It doesn’t make you better, it makes you an a-hole.




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Why my husband is quite possibly the most embarrassing person on earth


This isn’t a new story but unfortunately I fear it will live in my head forever so I’m thinkin maybe if I get it all typed out it will vacate my brain! First off, I should start by saying i don’t think my husband “tries” to embarrass the ever-living hell out of me, for some reason it just comes naturally to him. I know some of you can relate!
So here’s the background story- we were going to his best friends house because it was his daughter’s birthday. I know his friend, his friend’s wife, and a few other people who were there but the majority of them were total strangers. And to be clear, I really don’t know his friend’s wife all that well.
Ok now to the meat of the story- we were on our way there and I had some of those big little tikes toys in the back of the hubs truck to take to the kids but they needed washed off. We stopped at a car wash to clean them and the hubby got out and did all the work but he left me in the truck sweating my ass off! ( He refuses to run the ac if the vehicle is stopped ) so there I am sitting in the 100 degree cab sweating my little ass off and it is taking him ages! I looked down and saw my boobs were even starting to sweat and I was really starting to get concerned that I’d have boob sweat all over my shirt when we made our entrance at the party ( not attractive)… And mind you at this point we were already late so all attention would most definitely be on us when we arrived. So I’m desperately searching through the truck console to find some tissues or napkin or something to wipe off with and finally!! AHHHHHH! The angels all sang in unison and I found some freaking napkins!! I quickly shoved them in both bras cups and yelled to the hubby to hurry the hell up because I was roasting like a damned thanksgiving turkey!
Fast forward we arrive at the party and say our hellos. We eat some food and chit-chat with everyone. As we are talking to my husband’s friend’s wife my husband keeps giving me this weird ass look. I roll my eyes at him and continue to talk to her and all of a sudden this freaking genius reaches over and pulls the napkin out that I forgot was in my bra!!! Right in front of this girl I barely know! And did I say ” Oh my god! How embarrassing, it’s completely his fault!!”? No. I stood there so unbelievably mortified that this chick surely thinks I stuff my bra because my brilliant husband saw a little piece of napkin peeking out and thought he’d “save me some embarrassment ” by pulling it out in the middle of the party!!

Yea. That really happened…over the summer. It has taken me this long to see the humor. I bet they still think I stuff my bra. :p


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